A Letter to Dowling

Dear Dowling and its defenders,

Dowling has betrayed our trust in so many ways. They gave us zero warning. They closed after all other college deadlines ended. They closed while students are abroad and don't have the Internet to check up on what's happening. Vacations have been ruined. Future grad school plans had been put on hold. I'll have to commute much farther now. Who will pay for that gas money? We had everything ready financially to take care of my last semester and no matter where I go, I will be paying more. I do NOT trust Dowling. They should have given us a semesters' notice. They should have given us more information. With all due respect to all faculty trying to calm us down, our school club has been more helpful and more organized than whoever was managing this crisis. I stood on line for 5 hours and paid 50$ for transcripts. A fight nearly broke out. Is that under control? I do not trust Dowling's degree in the slightest. I'd rather forget the fact that I'm 9 credits away and take 30 at another school just so I can get that damn name off my future degree. The people up top were not thinking about the students. This is our future and thousands of dollars on the line for people who had a dream and now feel crushed. So forgive us if we are a little impatient.

People are trying to tell me to remember the middle. The positives. The good times. Well, here's what I'll remember.

I will remember my scholarship that is lost. I will remember that I will lose a whole semester. I will remember that I'll be in school longer. I will remember the extra money I'll have to take out for gas. I'll remember the stress. I'll remember that I'll have more loans now. I'll remember that I'm probably never going to see my professors again in person, that I didn't say goodbye. I'll remember that I felt safe and happy and had that feeling crushed out of me. I will remember that I cried like a baby in front of Adelphi representatives, in front of Molloy. I will remember that now I'll have to commute the other way, to a hub of activity, something I don't want. That I'll have to drive in traffic. I'll remember that I'll be bored to death because even at Molloy, the classes they're offering are classes I already took. I will remember that I was going to put "editor of conatus" on my resume. I will remember that I was going to be club president. I will remember that I was going to make it good, revive it and make it a community for writers. I will remember I had the posters ready. I will remember the Renaissance faire. I will remember how badly I wanted it and how hard I tried to get it to work. I will remember all the people who jumped on to help the project. I will remember my friends, who are all going to different schools. I will remember that my professors might not find work any time soon. I will remember that people who had specific degrees might have to go to other states and halfway across the country now. I will remember the damage.

In all honesty, I'm still crying. Right now I have tears in my eyes. You know why? My dad came into my room yesterday and told me I can go to any college. Any. He'll pay. He'll take everything out of his retirement, everything. What little he has left, anyway. Just so I'd stop crying and got to finish school on a happy note. My parents never went to college. They lived in Communist Poland. They had two kids at my age. My mom told me recently how she regretted that she never went to school. That she had an opportunity to start a great political career if only she could go to school. That her friend who did, he is a famous politician now. She would have been beside him. She would have taken part in determining the future of a whole country. But she couldn't afford school. She was from a tiny village, barely bigger than a hamlet.

My parents were so proud of me and my siblings when we got accepted into so many schools. And I chose Dowling. I was going to graduate early. Make them more proud. I feel so betrayed, in every way possible.

I am a positive person. I like to smile. But it's hard to stay positive. Dowling has done nothing to help us stay positive.

Aleksandra